Have you ever been complacent about some situation in your life – only to discover your confidence and trust were misplaced, and you were greatly mistaken? Perhaps it was an exam you were confident of passing, but didn’t – a job you thought you were qualified for – but didn’t get offered. Or something you bought, only to find it was useless for what you had in mind. Worse, you may have trusted a friend to stand by you – and they failed you. All these can be painful experiences, rude awakenings.

We can be equally complacent and falsely confident about our spiritual state. That was true of Saul, the Pharisee from Tarsus. He was proud of his Jewish pedigree, circumcised the 8th day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law a Pharisee... as to righteousness under the Law – blameless.(Phil 3:5 RSV)

Sincere – but mistaken

His was not the complacency that sat back indifferent to his spiritual state – he was zealous for God. He thought he was serving God when he was persecuting the Christians. It is terribly possible to be utterly sincere – and yet truly mistaken. As he commented years later, I acted ignorantly in unbelief.(1 Tim 1:13) A blindfold obscured his mind, so that he could not see that his own Scriptures pointed to a Messiah such as Jesus had already proved to be. (2 Cor 3:14)

Nor could he see that his religion had built upon God’s Law a way of salvation totally at variance with God’s intention. His security was false. He was trusting to his own righteousness, his own ability to keep God’s law. He thought he was alive in God’s sight and pleasing him by his zeal in persecuting those he regarded as blasphemers, but in reality it was he who was spiritually dead. (Eph 2:1,5)

Saul believed the Christians were lying about God, and the Redeemer he would send. God’s King a crucified carpenter?! To be publicly executed and exposed to shame on a gibbet? That’s plainly said in Scripture to be the result of God’s curse on that man (Dt 21:23) – how then could he be God’s Holy, Righteous Chosen One? And hadn’t Jesus been killed because he, a man, had claimed equality with God? Plainly no credence could be given to this story of theirs that Jesus had risen from the dead – they must be lying about that too!

And yet! How did such ideas square with what Saul had seen of the character of the Christians? They plainly loved righteousness, and held the highest spiritual ideals of the Pharisees – unlike the worldly Sadducees, the High Priestly party Saul was now working for. He had seen their love for each other; their patience and humility and forgiveness when he had hauled them off to prison and floggings. How could he reconcile such godliness with pernicious error? And not only did they love their Jesus more than their own lives – they were ready to part with their goods also. The well-to-do sold up estates or possessions to help their poor – and what they had, they held in common. (Acts 2:44-45; 4:32,36-37)

An awakening conscience

It was this last, I believe, that broke through Saul’s complacency. Suddenly he saw his own attitude to possessions for what it was – covetousness. (Rom 7:7-12) And with horror he realised he’d broken the 10th commandment. And if he’d broken one, he might just as well have broken all ten. (Jas 2:10) Because he was relying on keeping them as his hope for blessing. And to fall short of even the least commandment would mean he only deserved, had only earned, God’s curse. (Gal 3:10)

Nor was this the end of it. He began to resent this accusation of covetousness – it made him all the more jealous of his possessions – and all the more aware that he – the self-righteous pharisee – was in fact – a sinner. Could it then be true – what these Christians were saying – that even a devout Jew was unfit for God’s Kingdom? That he needed a cleansing, no amount of good works could provide? – or penance, or prayers – or any sacrifice of any kind – including those he could offer at the Temple? (John 3:5-8; Acts 2:38) No – away with the thought! And to stifle it, he plunged into greater exertions to do God’s work by stamping out these heretics.

God’s mercy

But then God – in his infinite mercy – arrested Saul before he could be further hardened – rebelling as he was against the work of the Holy Spirit in his heart – convicting him of his sin, of the godliness of his victims, and of the truth spoken by men like Stephen, as they sought to point him to Jesus. God is always the author of life, and if anyone becomes a Christian, it is because God intervenes and draws them to himself. But in Saul’s case, the Risen Jesus actually met him on the road to Damascus – the very one whom Saul had blasphemed, and persecuted, and insulted in the person of his saints. Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads. (Acts 26:14)

Who are you, Lord? I am Jesus. Not Jesus the blasphemer, not even Jesus, a prophet mighty in deed and word – not Jesus crucified and buried – but the Jesus of Stephen, who saw him standing at the right hand of God. The risen Jesus of glory, of whom this same Saul was to write: the glory of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ. (Titus 2:13)

For Saul was in the presence of the glory of God, in the person of Jesus. He must have lain at his feet as a dead man. For him at that moment, it was the Day of the Lord, the Day of Judgement. No doubt all Saul’s past life flashed through his mind in the awful light of this revelation. But Jesus had not come to condemn – that Day is yet to come.

What shall I do? Rise, and enter the city, and you will be told what to do. And a blinded Saul, who had to be led by the hand, was taken into Damascus – a very different Saul! Before he had physical sight, but a blind spirit – now he had begun to see – and to aid that sight, and to bring home to him the reality of what he had seen – he was physically blind.

The cost of conversion

Saul’s response was to fast and pray. He had always been in earnest. Now he knew he had been wrong, grievously, horribly wrong – and he was equally earnest to go in the right direction. But that would be costly. That must have been very plain. It would be humiliating enough to have to eat his own words. But now, if he became a Christian, he would experience all the hatred and venom he had himself shown to others. It might – it did – involve the loss of all that a man can hold dear in his life. The love of close relatives and friends. A respected reputation. The inheritance of riches.

But Saul was overwhelmed with a realisation of God’s love and mercy to himself – and that Jesus died so that he Saul, might never have to die. As he was to say later, For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as refuse – in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own, based on law – but that which is through faith in Christ – the righteousness that comes from God... I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. (Phil 3:7-9)

As he prayed, God granted him a vision of Ananias coming in and restoring his sight. And so it was. Brother Saul, receive your sight. That word has two meanings. It can mean, See again – but it can also mean, Look up. And in that very hour I looked up at him. (Acts 22:13) With his physical eyes Saul saw Ananias, but with spiritual sight now, Saul looked up at Jesus in trust and commitment. Henceforward he would be the bond-slave (doulos) of Christ Jesus. (Rom 1:1; Phil 1:1; Tit 1:1) Why do you wait, said Ananias, Rise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on his name. (Acts 22:16)

How each of us may become a Christian

Three times we’re told this story in this book of Acts. Why? Because it teaches us how each of us may become a Christian. I don’t mean we must have a dramatic conversion – let alone a physical sight of the Risen Lord – but there are 4 things we must share with Saul.

1. We must come under conviction of our own sinfulness. We must come to see that we cannot make ourselves acceptable to God. If we try to do so, we are going in utterly the wrong direction. Are you relying on your own character, your own achievements, to be able to please God? But in God’s sight all our righteous acts are like filthy rags (the word literally means a menstruous cloth) (Isa 64:6) We must come to the realisation unless Christ saves us, we are utterly lost and without hope.

2. We must be certain who Jesus is. We must know he is the Son of God, who died on the Cross and rose again, and now sits at God’s right hand, the Lord of all.

Jesus had promised that we may know this if we are really in earnest – read John 7:17 – If any man’s will is to do God’s will – he shall KNOW whether the teaching is from God, or whether I am speaking on my own authority. (RSV)

3. We must come, as Saul did, to a place of repentance, of a willingness to turn from self and all known sin – to turn to Jesus, asking for God’s forgiveness through HIM ALONE.

It is not enough to look upon what Jesus’ death has won for us as some sort of supplement to our own goodness – we have none. We must come with empty hands to receive the gift of God – the robe of Christ’s righteousness, to cover our nakedness, so that we may be acceptable in his presence. This is a free gift – and from that moment God receives us as his son or daughter, for ever!

                                                                     And finally, 

4. We must commit ourselves to Jesus in wholehearted discipleship. We must give ourselves to Jesus without reserve. He must be our LORD and our GOD, whatever the cost. But if we are conscious of how much God loves us, of what it cost Jesus, who gave himself for us – we shall be glad to give ourselves to him, to trust him and to live for him, to please him, for ever.

A prayer for those who know their need, and wish to commit their lives to Jesus as their Lord and Saviour:

Almighty God, Thank you for waking me up to the realisation that I am a sinner in your sight, incapable of pleasing you by my own efforts, deserving only of your condemnation.

But thank you so much that you love me, and sent Jesus, your only Son, to die the death I deserve. Please forgive my sin, my neglect and refusal of your love. Wash me clean and receive me now and forever as your child, and bring me at last into your heavenly kingdom.

Please fill me with your Holy Spirit, to renew me and give me a heart that loves to please you, to enable me to overcome my weakness and sin, to obey and serve you with all my heart, whatever the cost.

I ask this for the sake of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour. Amen.