It's an extraordinary thought – that of all the many encounters Jesus must have had with his mother – God has seen to it that we know of only four – and one of these involves only an indirect exchange. Surely then, those that we have, are given so that we may learn something significant about Jesus – and about ourselves.

They are very brief – and we all come to them with our own preconceptions – so I feel very inadequate. You and I need so much the instruction and guidance of the Holy Spirit, if we are not to read into these events, rather read out what he wants to teach us. Let's pray before continuing...

Since today we're going to deal with Jesus' words to Mary, in response to her words and actions, we can consider only very briefly all that gospel material, which so largely forms our estimate of her faith and obedience.

We have just sung a hymn based on her song of praise in Elizabeth's home. A song that reveals her deep knowledge of Scripture, and through it, her understanding of the character of God. His undeserved favour towards her and all who revere him – his revolutionary judgement of men, overthrowing the proud and unloving, and lifting up the humble and needy – and his faithfulness to the promises he has made to his chosen people.

Mary's deep reverence and trust in God are clearly seen in her response to Gabriel's message, that God had chosen her to bear the Messiah – and that as a virgin-mother, with all that that might involve. The unfolding story shows God's loving provision and care for her. His confirmation and preparation for her rτle, through the ministries of Elizabeth & Zechariah, her husband Joseph, the shepherds and wise men, Simeon and Anna – all whose words she treasured in her heart and pondered.

As we contemplate Mary's example thus far – and apply it to ourselves – we should be in no doubt about the parallels.

God speaks to us also through his word, and through those he sends, to challenge us to surrender our lives to his will. He wants to work in our lives by his Holy Spirit – to form Christ within us. We too, are to praise him as our Saviour, for his undeserved mercy and love towards us. We too are to trust him through the roller-coaster experiences of life that he may lead us into – knowing that God's purposes for our lives may be far greater than we can have any conception of, making us the channel of blessing to many others – if we are willing to let him guide and use us.

And that will almost certainly mean, if we are faithful, that we shall face misunderstanding, reproach, pain or hardship. But in all this God will be at work in our lives – moulding us to his image, reminding us of truths we once knew, but have forgotten – asking us to grow in faith and obedience, to see ourselves more realistically...

So it was in Mary's life – and we begin with that episode when Jesus was 12 and stayed behind in Jerusalem, when Mary and Joseph had left with all the others, after the Passover.

1. I had to be about my Father's...

When they find Jesus after 3 days, they find him in the Temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them, asking and answering questions. Here was the best place in the whole world to receive instruction in the Word of God. Within the year the 12-year-old boy would become, in Jewish estimation, an adult man, responsible for his actions and capable of taking his part among God's people.

So this time was supremely one of preparation, of learning about God's will for his life. Already Jesus was deeply conscious of his relationship to God as Abba, his Father – and the whole disposition of his being was directed to knowing him better and doing his will.

Mary fails to comprehend this – and in her guilty anxiety as a mother – pours out her bewildered, fearful and irritated feelings over Jesus. Why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you!

Probably we find ourselves sympathizing with her and Joseph – and maybe sharing their mystification at Jesus' reply. Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be about my Father's... Whether we complete Jesus' question with the word house or business – makes little difference to the meaning: Jesus' priority was to do his Father's will.

Clearly Jesus found it difficult to understand their anxiety, perhaps because his trust in his Father was so complete. His words are open and frank – he makes no lame excuse – only the imperative that must now dominate his life.

And the gentle rebuke implied by his words my Father. Had the events of 12 years previously faded somewhat from their minds? Had life become so normal, that they just looked upon Jesus as they did their other children? If so, Jesus was asking them to remember and to perceive who he was – God's Son.

But, because he was also their son, and under their authority, he knew it was God's will for him to be subject and obedient to them – and, without demur, he returned with them to Nazareth – and grew in wisdom, as well as stature, in favour with God and men.

We have been given only this incident out of those 30 silent years in Nazareth. No doubt Mary told Luke of many other events in Jesus' childhood – but he chose this one, as revealing Jesus' own awareness already, of who he was – and of his life's direction, expressed so clearly when he was fully adult, I came down from heaven not to do my will, but.. the will of him who sent me. I always do what pleases him. (John 6:38; 8:29)

Do we perceive aright who Jesus is? That he was a real man I don't suppose you doubt – a man who grew up as we do, needing to learn and understand. A man toughened by physical labour, sweating and tired. A man knowing sorrow and temptation, as well as love and compassion. But not a man ever conscious of needing to ask for forgiveness! (John 8:46)
Do you also believe he is God's Son? That he alone knows the Father perfectly, and he alone can truly reveal God to you, (Matthew 11:27) being himself the Lord from heaven (Rom 10:9;1 Cor 8:6; 15:47), the Lord of Glory (1 Cor 2:8)? Obviously there is a great mystery here, for no-one else has ever had this dual nature – but this is what he is asking us to perceive.

We know – as Mary and Joseph undoubtedly knew – that Jesus' attitude as a man, to God, his Father, ought to be ours also. But taken off guard, other factors so often intervene and we act as those who are autonomous, making our own decisions and choices – because we think we know best – or just because we want to do things our way – revealing as we do so the very disposition that led to the Fall of mankind – and which Jesus died to save us from!

Or, if we do in fact desire to walk in godly ways, we are so often confused, uncertain of the right way. In either state of mind, Jesus' words to Mary are words to us – along with other words, Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matt 6:33). Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight (Prov 3:5,6).

May we also be as concerned, as Jesus was, to be about our Father's business!

2. My time has not yet come.

Eighteen years later, or thereabouts, we come to the conversation between Mary and Jesus at the wedding in Cana. There can be little doubt that over the years Mary – by this time almost certainly widowed – had learned to rely a great deal on Jesus, her eldest son. It was natural that she should tell Jesus of the dilemma of their host, that the wine had run out. What is likely to puzzle us is the nature of Jesus' reply, Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come. (John 2:4)

What does Jesus mean by his time – literally his hour? This appears to be a frequent expression of Jesus – especially in John's Gospel (7:6,8,30; 8:20; Matt 26:18,45) – where it becomes clear that this refers to his going to his death on our behalf. (John 12:23,27; 13:1; 17:1) Jesus knew from the beginning of his public ministry that this was his destiny – the work, above all, that was his Father's will for him, set out in the prophets, especially in Isaiah – quoted to him by God at his baptism. (Lk 3:22; Isa 42:1; 52:13ff)

But he knows that its timing is in his Father's hands – which he will neither hasten nor delay. Yet why does he allude to it now – in the context of a wedding? Because – I sense – he feels constrained. Normally he would have acceded to his mother's requests – and it plainly is a request, even if Mary doesn't spell out what he could do about it.

But Jesus' public ministry had now begun. Already he has faced temptations to take an easier road – the road of man-pleasing, rather than God-pleasing – and has won the victory over it. Did Jesus feel that this request might be yet another temptation to deviate from his Father's way?

It was gently expressed – but Jesus was distancing himself from the mother-son relationship, that had hitherto been a proper expression of his human life. From now on things had to be on a different footing. Mary had to release him for his God-given rτle, to step back from the rτle of proud Jewish mother – to become the disciple at Jesus' feet – her Lord, rather than her son.

What lesson is there here for ourselves? Are we in danger of presuming on a relationship with Jesus, our Lord? Have we realised that when we pray 'in his name' – we are to pray according to his will, for God's glory – and not for our will to be done? We can presume on the wonderful privilege we have – as God's adopted children – that as our Father, he will hear us.

We presume when we forget that our relationship is one of utter undeserved grace – because it is founded not on our merit, but upon the righteousness of Christ, the forgiveness he won for us by dying in our place, and the love of the Father who planned it all.

And that lesson, I believe, is what Mary had to learn. Old attitudes had to be unlearned – a new one was appropriate now. Did Mary learn this straightaway? Certainly, her trust and humility shine through her trustful words to the servants, Do whatever he tells you. (John 2:5)

3. Whoever does God's will is my... mother.

But her understanding of who Jesus was – and what has to be the rτle of those who commit their lives to him – was not yet complete. For the third encounter – told in all 3 synoptic gospels – concerns the time Jesus' family set out for the house where Jesus was teaching, thinking him out of his mind – because he wouldn't even stop to eat – and wanting to take charge of him.

When Mary and Jesus' brothers arrive outside the house, they send someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around Jesus, and they told him, 'Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you'. 'Who are my mother and my brothers?', he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother'. (Mark 3:20,21,31-35)

Mary shows her motherly anxiety on her son's behalf – but she does not yet understand that to do God's will means we learn at Jesus' feet, honouring him as God's Son, surrendering to him as our Lord.

His family thinks he is beside himself. I don't doubt for a moment Jesus' love for them. Nor his care for his mother. It must have grieved him that they didn't believe what he was doing was his Father's will. That should be a comfort to us, when our families misunderstand our faith, and do not share it. But Jesus' love for them demanded they be told that no natural tie could replace a personal trust in him. In the same way for us – we cannot rely on being in a Christian family – we must trust Jesus ourselves, and ask him to be our Saviour and Lord.

The Pharisees had just accused him of being possessed by the devil himself. They were in danger of fatally resisting the testimony of the Holy Spirit – and so are we, if we do not truly acknowledge Jesus' right to be our Sovereign Lord, and our daily need for him to be our Saviour from sin and self. Only then are we truly free, free to do God's will, and to know his love, uniting us in his family with one another, whom we are truly to love.

4. Dear woman, here is your son.

As for Mary – we see her again at the foot of the cross, with the other women and the beloved disciple. Jesus entrusts his mother to John, to be as his mother. And Jesus gives him to her, to be as her son, from now on, Dear woman, here is your son. (John 19:26,27) Even in his agony, Jesus thought of her loneliness and need after he was gone, and commended her to a fellow believer, rather than to his brothers, who at that time did not believe in him.

Here at last, with Simeon's prophecy fulfilled – a sword piercing her soul – she learns the true cost of discipleship – and the utter cost of her, and our, redemption. And here at the foot of the cross, acknowledging our sin, turning from it , and trusting in Jesus alone as our Saviour – we too must begin our Christian pilgrimage, and know our unity in Christ with all our fellow believers, Mary included.

The last we hear of Mary in the New Testament, she is numbered with all the disciples, praying together as believers, awaiting the Day of Pentecost. (Acts 1:14)

We too have to learn the way is costly – but it leads to the joy of knowing a Risen Saviour. It leads to service, witness and the fullness of the Holy Spirit – and Jesus' companionship for ever, till the end of time and beyond.

Therefore I leave you with two questions arising from these encounters of Jesus with his mother.

Do you PERCEIVE who Jesus really is – the Son of God, the Lord of Glory? And will you RECEIVE Jesus into your heart and life, as your Saviour and Lord?

Summary: God's challenge to us:
1. to surrender our lives to him.
2. to perceive that Jesus the man is also God's Son, the Lord from heaven..
3. to be ourselves about our Father's business.
4. not to presume on the basis of being God's adopted children.
5. not to rely on being in a Christian family, but having one's own personal trust and commitment.
6. to learn that following Jesus is costly, but leads to joy. \\